Step 4: Working Through Resentments to Heal Overeating

When I got to Step 4 while working the 12 Steps of recovery from overeating, I felt overwhelmed. This is the step where you take an honest look at your past so you can understand why you do what you do.

I didn't think I really had any resentments.

Someone in the program suggested I start by making a list of people who had hurt me.

That felt different.

I could think of plenty of people who had hurt me over the years—family, friends, and others. As I began writing their names down, they came to me surprisingly quickly.

Remembering what had happened took a little longer. There seemed to be so many painful memories.

Then I began checking the columns to see how each hurt had affected me.

That's when I started seeing patterns.

One of the biggest was how often my self-esteem had been affected.

Then came the hardest part—not asking whether what others had done was wrong, but looking honestly at how I had responded to those hurts.

Many times, I realized I had been selfish and self-centered. I had been so focused on my own pain that I hadn't considered what the other person might have been going through. That didn't excuse their actions, but it helped me begin to see them differently.

And instead of bringing my hurts to God...

I ate.

I never stopped to consider the unhealthy habits I was forming or the damage I was doing to my body.

As I wrote in my book, 12 Steps to Recovery from Overeating:

"The point is to understand why we've done some of the things we've done and learn it is no longer necessary to eat to deal with our emotions."

Understanding the patterns of my past helped me move forward in healthier ways—emotionally, physically, and spiritually.

It also brought me closer to God and strengthened my walk with Him.

Recovery hasn't been a straight line. It's been a journey of making mistakes, turning back to God, and experiencing God's grace over and over again.

I'm so thankful He never gives up on us.