Step 8: Getting Ready to Make Amends

I used to think once I could control my eating, I would be able to take the weight off and keep it off.

After going through Steps 1–7, I realized that a lot of my unhealthy eating habits were due to strained relationships.

Until I worked through that, I would never truly be free from my struggles with food and weight.

That’s when I was finally willing to really work Step 8.

This step wasn’t about blaming myself or digging up the past for the sake of guilt.

It was about honesty.

It was about seeing how my coping, avoidance, resentment, or withdrawal had affected others—and myself.

What surprised me was how easy it was to see where I had been hurt… and how much harder it was to see where I had caused harm. Food had been my escape, and while it numbed pain, it also kept me from showing up fully in relationships.

That’s why this step matters so much.

As I share in the Step Eight chapter of my book:

“The point of this list is not for you to feel shame and regret; after all, Christ died for all your sins! You have already been forgiven by God, which is the most important forgiveness of all.” 12 Steps to Recovery From Overeating, by Julie Kleinhans

Shame is not the goal of Step 8.

Freedom is.

This step helped me recognize patterns I didn’t want to ignore anymore.

When relationships felt uncomfortable or painful, food stepped in to carry what it was never meant to carry.

Step 8 reminded me that forgiveness isn’t just something we offer to others. It’s also something we have already received from God.

Becoming willing to apologize and right any wrongs can be difficult sometimes. I can start with this simple prayer:

“God, help me want to make this right.”

And that’s enough to begin.

Step 8 begins to free us from the past.

It prepares us for more peace.

Because when relationships begin to heal, we no longer need to numb, fix, or carry the weight of what only God can restore.

Step 8.

The beginning of healing broken relationships.